Operation World

This is a book idea.  Operation World by Patrick Johnstone is a day by day guide to praying for the world.  It gives you statistics for all of the countries of the world so that you can be better informed in praying for them.  You start in January by praying for the whole world and then move to country by country, so that today March 31, we are praying for China, specifically the Church in China.  They talk about the TSPM, which I find out is the Three Self Patriotic Movement.  It seems this is a tool of the government to gain control over the Church.

I really like the idea of praying for the world, and even though I don't mind statistics, I am rarely moved by them.  Sorry.  But I wonder could someone come up with a less stastistical approach to praying for the world through the year.  Could there be one based more on pictures and stories than facts and figures?  Hmmm.  Maybe it has already been thought up.  I just found out that Jill Johnstone wrote a book called You Can Change The World, which is basically a Operation World for Kids.  I don't have this book but I think it could be a great resource for families.  Operation World is updated every decade or so, and ours is the 1993 version.
Maybe praying for the whole world is overwhelming.  In our family we pray for the Karen people of Burma a lot, because they are facing extreme hostility from their own government.  You could pray for Sudan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Egypt, etc.  Many of the nations that make the news because what their life is like is so horrible - often war.  So maybe adopt a country as a family.  Learn about that country and pray for them.  People live there.  People like you and me.

Faith Development in Pictures

Here is an idea:  Think through how your faith has developed through the years and draw a picture of your faith development.  Use shape, color, tone, whatever you want to express how your faith has developed.  This is an activity that can be done in a marriage, both spouses drawing their own picture and/or drawing a picture of your marriage faith development.  It can also be used in a family where the parents and children can draw pictures of their faith development, and those pictures can be posted on the wall or refrigerator.  When someone comes into your house and sees your picture, they may ask you what it is.  You can then have an opportunity to share with them how your faith has developed, and your story may be the story that wakes them up to the story God is writing for them.  A picture is worth a thousand words.

"Work it out."

My kids often fight.  One is upset because another took a toy.  The other is upset because another one shoved him or her.  It goes on and on.  When I was a kid my brother and I fought a lot.  So how do we parents handle our kids fighting with one another?  What I normally do is tell them that we, their parents, will die one day, and then they will have to work it out on their own.  So what I do is tell them to sit down on the couch, or in the grass if it is outside on a walk, and hold hands.  Then I tell them they have to work it out.  Sometimes I tell them they have a time limit.
Sometimes one of the kids in particular may be telling the other how wrong they were (without admitting any wrong).  It is at this point that I often tell them that they must not do it that way.  We do not have this perfected at all.  Sometimes the "work it out" session turns into a crying session that lasts a long long time.  Sometimes it is because it is late.  Sometimes it is because feelings have been deeply hurt.  Sometimes it is both.
Working it out is something that a husband and a wife also have to do.  So a great time to learn this skill is with your brother or sister.  Working it out is at its basic form saying, "I was wrong.  I am sorry.  Will you forgive me?"

Make Up For Our Mistakes

My parents did not do everything right, and they both readily admitted this.  I forget what I thought when I was a kid, but now I know that I get a lot of things wrong as a parent.  I yell too much.  I scream too much.  I threaten too much.  I type on this blog instead of looking into my child's face.  I do not play with them enough.  So so many things and the list could go on and on just for one day.  Well, I want to share with you an idea that my parents passed down to me.  It is a prayer that they prayed for my brother and I.
"Lord, make up for our mistakes."

That is the prayer that my wife and I continue to pray for our kids.  We make so many mistakes that sometime its seems that that mistake will send our kids over the edge and totally screw them up.  So we pray "Lord, please unscrew them up."  In my 10 years of parenting, I think this is the best prayer I have ever heard a parent pray.  And I think the Lord loves to answer this prayer, to show us that no matter how screwed up we make our kids, he can straighten them out, that no matter how much our mistakes push our children away from God, he can draw them to himself, that no matter how ineffective we are as parents, he is the effective Parent.

Video Testimony

Several months before my mom died she and my dad took a missions trip to Burkina Faso in West Africa.  They were invited to share their experience on a local TV show called Good News Spotlight.  The host of the show asked my dad to share how he came to the Lord, and unlike my dad he was very brief.  He said that his relationship with God moved from his head to his heart.  Then the host asked my mom how she came to the Lord, and unlike my mom she went on and on about the various aspects of how she came to know Jesus, from her grandparents who she and her brother would spend the summers with, and the disillusionment she felt as her parents got a divorce, to walking by the brook talking to the God she did not believe in, to the fellow Ball State student who led her to a relationship with Jesus, which would in turn effect every fiber of who I am who write this.  Friends of ours made a copy of that TV show when it was aired, which then we were now able to copy on a DVD.  That DVD of my mom's testimony is a way for her to share with her grandchildren that she was never able to know here on this earth.  It is one of my most treasured possessions.

So I have also realized how sharing a video testimony of myself and my wife can be for our kids, and even for extended family.  So go get your iPhone or your camera with video or whatever you have that can take video and make a video recording of how you came to know Jesus.  I am living proof that your kids will value this more than any other gift you could leave them with.

The Banana Relay

 When I was in college I ran track and cross country.  The distance runner's would often have a 4x400 team at the end of the Taylor Invitational after we had run the steeplechase, the 5k, the 10k, and whatever else.  While the other 4x400 teams used a metal baton we used a more "green" baton, although we wanted it actually to be yellow.  It was a banana.  The anchor leg of the relay not only had to run the relay, but also had to eat the banana.  I have found that this is an extremely fun family event.  Often there is a fight to see who gets to be the anchor leg and eat the baton.  This is also one of the events in Jarathlon, which will most likely be a post or a series of posts all on their own.  It could be its own blog.  The history, the events, the past champions and MVPs could be enough to have not only a book, but several volumes of books.  So the idea is this:  Get together your family and maybe include a few families.  Have eight or 12 people willing to run and divide into teams of four.  Go to your local high school or college track.  Each person on the team runs one lap and then hands off to the next person on the team.  The last (anchor) leg must eat the banana.  The team that finishes first with an eaten banana wins.  This can often be a yearly or even monthly tradition.  And it is great interval exercise.  You could even do this 10 times in one day.  Or 45 times in one day.  Or 107 times in one day.

Killer Falls

When my brother and I were in high school we went to a summer camp in eastern Pennsylvania called Summer's Best Two Weeks and we often went white water rafting on the Youghiogheny River.  There was a big rapids on that river called Killer Falls.  I am not sure how many people died each season going down Killer Falls, but what I am sure of, is that after someone goes down Killer Falls and lives to tell about it, it is an experience that they never forget.  Well, my parents let my brother and I take them white water rafting on the Youghiogheny River and we even led them down Killer Falls.  It was very intense, but we all lived through it.  So my idea is to let your kids lead you in doing something.  Maybe my daughter will lead me in painting.  Maybe my son will lead me into a business venture.  Maybe my other son will lead me to skydiving (I hope not - I would be scared).  Maybe my other son will lead me to caring for the suffering children in Sub-Saharan Africa.  Who knows where they will lead me.  Will I let them lead me?  Giving up control and letting children lead us is tough I think, but my parents did a great job of it when we led them down Killer Falls.  Will you let your kids lead you down Killer Falls?

A Family Verse

We have a family verse.  My wife's family also had a family verse.  Theirs was Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Ours is a verse that is repeated through Scripture time and time again, and my wife was the first to notice this repeated theme through the Bible.  The verse we picked was Exodus 34:6, but it can be found in Psalms, Jonah and other places too I think.  It is God revealing his name.  "Yahweh, Yahweh, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness."  We wrote the verse out and put it on our kids door to their bedroom.  Then we painted the verse on the wall of our living room.  I still think I would like to write the Hebrew of this verse above our front door, but we have not done that yet.  So what is your family verse?  Sometimes I think a verse is not enough.  Maybe you could have a family book, like the book of Ruth, or the book of Ephesians or the book of Deuteronomy or the book of Mark, or the double volume Luke-Acts.  That would take a lot more paint to paint on the wall, and you may need more than one wall.  What verse or book or chapter does your family resonate with, or is your family challenged by, or God has spoke to you through?   Paint it on your wall.  Your kids will grow up reading it over and over again.  

Love Languages

My wife and I read a book some years ago called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  In in he talks about five different ways of showing love.  Here they are:  Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service.  How can you say "I love you"?  One way I say it to my wife is by telling her how wonderful she is (Words of Affirmation) even though I speak that love language more fluently than she who speaks it to me by cooking me meals 7 days a week (Acts of Service).  One way our daughter shows love is by giving gifts that she makes (Gifts).  One way to find out your love language is by asking how you yourself show love.  Another way my wife can show she loves me is by hugging me (Physical Touch), and the way my wife likes me to show her love best is by sitting down and talking, just the two of us (Quality Time).  This book can apply to your relationship with anyone, but it is especially helpful in marriage.  Here are some questions to ask yourself.  How do I show love to others?  How to I feel the most loved by others - when they do or say what?  Am I effected by words?  actions?  gifts?  presence?  touch?  We would recommend this book not as a book to pin you down as one of these and label everyone, but as a beginning to understanding you and your spouse better, or your kids better, or God better, or others better.

Read more about the five love languages at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Allowance

When I was a kid I got an allowance, although I forget how much it was.  I had to do chores around the house to earn my allowance like taking out the trash and doing the dishes.  When our kids turn 8 years old we give them an allowance of one dollar every two weeks.  They are taught to give one dime of that dollar to our church, and I am thinking that I should teach them to do something with the other 90 cents, but I have not solidly figured that out.  A lot of times they give more than 10% to church.  I think that’s great.  Other times they want to buy something that to me is either worthless or annoying.  Sometimes we let them.  Sometimes we make them pay their way to something.  I talk to them about putting some of that money to college, but I don’t think they get that at all.  So I need more ideas in this area for sure.  But two things I want to teach my kids about money, the money they hold in their hands.  1.  It is all God’s.  2.  The most fun thing to do with money is to give it away.  When our kids turn 12 they will have more responsibility and also a little more allowance (maybe two dollars), and then when they turn 16, up again it goes, with them having more responsibilities and more allowance.  They goal is for them to get used to getting a paycheck and be able to have good habits in place – especially the habit of giving.

Chores

When I was growing up, my chore was to take the garbage that could not be burned to the trash can, while my brother’s chore was to take the trash out an burn it.  Other chores we had were washing and drying the dishes, cleaning up our rooms (my room was called a “pig sty”), dusting the furniture and vacuuming.  What chores did you grow up with?  What chores do your kids do now?  Having four children the child with the most chores is my oldest son.  He feeds the dogs most often, puts the bulk of the dishes away, and does the most work when the kids are told to pick up the toys in the play room.  One challenge I think we have is to make sure the other kids also have ascending levels of responsibility as they grow up.  I know that my older brother did things for me so that I would not get a spanking (thank you brother), and I know that my wife, as the oldest, also did a lot of the work (and a lot of the bossing around – so I’m told).  Our oldest son is also our child who obeys orders the best.  Our daughter is the one who disobeys orders the best.  She is Daddy Junior.  So we have the kids do their own laundry.  We have the kids help with cleaning some.  Sometimes we have them make their beds, and sometimes they help with outside choes.  What about you?  What are your ideas for chores that children can do?  Comment on this post of what your ideas for chores for your children are.  Or if you are a child, what ideas do you have for chores you should do?

How does your Child learn?

Listen to this story of four kids in a classroom whose names are Tyler Talk, Barbie Book, Danny Do, and Isabel Idea.  These four children learn in four different ways.  Tyler Talk goes to the teacher and hugs him, and is always wanting to have conversations.  Tyler Talk loves to talk on and on and on.  In fact, this is how he learns.  Barbie Book learns how teachers teach.  Barbie Book likes books, and she takes pride in getting her spelling papers right, and thrives on the teacher giving information to the students.  Most schools were designed for Barbie Book.  Danny Do wants to do something or make something, and cannot sit still. That is what the teacher always says –“Danny Do, you cannot sit still.”  Danny Do does not learn by sitting still.  He learns by doing.  Isabel Idea has 231 ideas every day, and is crazy enough to try them.  She likes change, and is ready to start change.  Isabel Idea had an idea to rearrange the chairs to make the class more homey, but the teacher did not like the new arrangement.  Isabel got in trouble.  Isabel has lots of ideas, and needs options to learn.

I got the ideas of these four students from a book called Learning Styles by Marlene LeFever.  She talks about these four ways of learning, the Imaginitive Learner (Tyler Talk), the Analytical Learner (Barbie Book), the Hands On Learner (Danny Do), and the Dynamic Learner (Isabel Idea).  She talks about a way of teaching to all four Learning Styles.  She herself got her ideas from Dr. Bernice McCarthy, designer of the 4MAT System. 

For information on the 4MAT Learning Styles, click http://www.aboutlearning.com/what-is-4mat/what-is-4mat?start=3

For Marlene LeFever’s book, click http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Styles-Marlene-LeFever/dp/B004IEA2VG

Just because your child doesn’t do well in school does not mean they are not smart.  If you think of your child as a type of tree, ask yourself what kind of soil would be best for your child to grow and bear fruit.  Does your child need lots of watering?  Does your child need acidic soil?  Does your child need plenty of room for roots to grow?  Does your child need extra sunlight?  In a Christian family we are always learning, and even in a hundred lifetimes, there would always be something new to learn about our own family.  

Family Tree on the Wall

One idea I had was to paint a picture of a tree on the wall, and to use it to make a family tree.  At the roots I wrote the names of our grandparents and the dates of their weddings.  Then at the base of the trunk I wrote the names and wedding dates of our parents.  Then the names and wedding dates of us and our siblings.  Then in the leaves, as the fruit, the names of our children and our nieces and nephews.  I really think it is good for us to know where we have come from, and also where we are going as a family.  It is in the playroom so it is something that the kids see on a daily basis, and so without even knowing it, it will become a part of them.  Sometimes there is a lot behind family trees, like my dad and grandpa have both been married to two wives, because their first wives died, and how my other grandpa walked out on my mom's mom for another woman.  What do your kids know about your family tree?  Do they know the good and the bad?  If they do not know all there is to know about their family, will that information hurt them?  If so how will not knowing something hurt them?  There are times when information can hurt, but there are also times when hurtful information can provide the only way to growth.  The family tree must grow.

Archaeology Dig in Israel

Some of the ideas I post we are doing while other ideas are dreams.  So here is my dream.  I take my wife and our four kids to Israel for 10 weeks and do an archaeological dig.  Not so much to find something amazing like the Dead Sea Scrolls or a ossuary box with one of Jesus's brothers or the head of John the Baptist, but rather to join pretty much every favorite thing of mine at once.  You see I love my kids.  They are so special to me, and I can't imagine going on a trip with cooler people than them.  Also my wife is like myself, and in the words of Taylor Swift, I say to my wife, "I'm only me when I'm with you."  Also I love road trips, and there is no road trip like leaving the road and getting in a plane.  I also like climates that naturally grow bananas.  I also like being in warmer climates.  I also love learning, and since I know very little about archaeology, I could learn with my family about it.  I also like learning in a group.  I also like digging in the ground.  And yes, there is this God who became man and came to earth, and he came to Israel, and for me to put my face to the earth again in that place is sheer joy.  So that is my dream, to take my whole family to Israel on an archaeological dig.  I admit that I am more excited about the idea than anyone else.  But I am excited enough for all six of us.

The Balance Sheet

How are your family's finances?  If you are like me you will say either "How would I know?"  or "Why would I care?"  The Balance Sheet is an idea that will answer the question of how your family's finances are.  What is a balance sheet?  I am no accountant, so this is the super simplistic possibly wrong explanation.  But here it is.  A balance sheet is like a teeter-totter.  On one side of the teeter-totter you put your assets, and on the other side of the teeter-totter you put your liabilities.  Where does the teeter-totter lean?  If it leans to the assets, you are in the black (good).  If it leans to the liabilities, you are in the red (bad).  What is an asset?  What is a liability.  Rich dad, Poor dad is a book that teaches that concept well, although other concepts not as well.  An asset puts money in your pocket.  A liability takes money out of your pocket.  So your car turns out to not be much of an asset if it is like my car.   But your 401(k) is an asset.  Your credit card debt is a liability, as are your student loans and your mortgage.  Your stocks and bonds are assets, as is money in a CD.  So open up an excel document, put assets on one column, and add them all together.  Put liabilities in another column, and add those all together.  Subtract your liabilities from your assets, and that is your equity.  Work at getting a positive equity, instead of a negative equity.  If you have a negative equity, don't freak out, a lot of people do.  Work at making it move toward a positive equity.

Assets                             Liabilities
401(k)   $4000                Credit card      -$2000
CD        $1200                Student Loans  -$12,000
Checking  $600               Mortgage         -$56,000
Cash        $200                Hospital bills    -$750

Total Assets  $6000         Total Liabilities  -$70,750

                                        Equity            -$64,750

The above is an example of a Balance Sheet.  Maybe it is similar to what yours would be, maybe not.  Some would say "Pay off the smallest bill first."  That is not a bad idea, but here is a better idea.  "Pay off the liability that carries the highest interest rate.  That will probably be the credit card, since their interest rates are meant to take money from you for the rest of your life.  If one liability carries a 5.0% interest rate, and another carries a 8.95% interest rate, pay off the 8.95% rate first, even if the 5.0% is smaller.
So go make your balance sheet so that you can know how your family's finances are.  You may be surprised.

The Forgotten Dime

I was helping my son with a math problem that was asking if the person in the story could estimate to see if they had enough money to buy two things.  One thing cost $11.95 and another cost $3.95.  Could they estimate how much it cost and be certain that they had enough money?  My son said no, and I told him it was yes, because you could round up, and if you had at least $16 then you could be certain that you had enough.  The person who wrote the math problem agreed with me.  My son then explained to me that if the person had $15.50 or $15.55 for that matter, they should not be certain by estimating.  I realized that my son was right, and that I and the math problem writer were wrong.  How would you respond? 

It was one of the happiest moments of my life, to see my son finding flaws in my own logic and the logic of the math expert.  I told him so.  Our children will continue to find forgotten dimes, and those forgotten dimes may be ignored by us or celebrated by us.  I hope that today's Christian family children find forgotten dimes in our logic, in our ethics, in our theology, and that we have the wisdom to celebrate them.

The Ides of March

When I was in college some guys from my dorm really celebrated the Ides of March, which is from the Shakespearean play Julius Caesar.  Why not do this as a family.  Dress up in togas, and have the different family members play different parts, acting out scenes, or even a scene, from this play on this date.  You don't even have to do it exactly as the play does, but have fun with acting out Caesar's death on the Ides of March.  My kids love to act out Star Wars with their light sabers, killing the droids, etc.  Let the kids use their energy to learn about Shakespeare by acting it out.  Some kids don't learn by being told things.  Some kids only learn by doing things.  Often, those kids change the world.  So if your kid is not learning well in a model of sitting at a desk and taking tests, why not act out Julius Caesar this day of all days.  Beware, the Ides of March!

Grief and Loss

My Grandfather never knew his father, because he died when my Grandfather was a toddler.  His wife, my grandmother, died from cancer before any of her grandchildren were born.  His daughter in law, who was his daughter in his heart, died before any of her grandchildren were born, the first of which was my son.  Add to that the Great Depression and World War II and you get a hint, and only a small hint, of his pain.  This pain is not something that goes away, even with the generations.

So what do we do with that grief and loss?  It seems that there is a tendency to bottle it up, to not let it out, for fear that if it got let out, who could control it, sort of like damming up a huge reservoir that is filled to the brim.  The pressure and stress of living bottled up is something all of us see probably every day, if not in our own life, in the lives of those we love.  So if I am not to bottle up the grief and loss, what am I to do?

The Psalms are not only the biggest book of the Bible, but the most honest.  Grief is one of the many parts of life that is spilled over into the Psalms.  Reading the Psalms has helped many people to let the river of their grief and loss flow out.  And where does it flow to?  Through the Holy Spirit, who speaks from the Psalms to our hearts, our grief and loss can be an offering to God.  If all I have is grief and loss, then letting that flow out of myself to God is my act of worship.  This cannot happen if I am always holding it in, for worship is not always clean and neat, but often comes with the dirt we throw ourselves down in, the ashes we throw on our heads, and the tears that stream down our faces. . .

I was wrong. I am sorry. Will you forgive me?

 After my mom died over ten years ago we got a note in the mail from a lady she taught with.  This lady was not a Christian, but through my mom and others she gave herself to Jesus.  She let us know in the note one of the most impactful things my mom did.  My mom would take this lady aside and specifically ask for forgiveness something that my mom felt that she did wrong against this lady that she worked with.  This lady had never experienced that before, someone admitting their wrong and asking forgiveness.  It blew her away. 

In my life I have found that the Holy Spirit speaks to me most about asking for forgiveness.  Even today this has already happened three times.  One of them regards a blog post that I put up, and which I have since taken down.  A brother spoke to me about it, and through the Holy Spirit I realized that this post was not a good thing to post, for a myriad of reasons that the Holy Spirit made clear to me.  So if that specific post caused you pain, I was wrong.  I am sorry.  Will you forgive me?

Some people think that to say sorry to their children makes their children not respect them.  I have found the opposite to be true.  I even ask for forgiveness from my dogs, and in my world dogs are not even humans.  But in saying that we are sorry we are really trying to keep the list short, the list of things that we have done to hurt God, the God who made the heavens and the earth and our children and everyone and our dogs and everything.

Throwing my cell phone in the lake

When my wife and I moved to Kenya we got our first cell phone, and we loved it.  What a great thing to be able to talk to people from home.  Today we have two cell phones.  As I am writing this blog I shut my cell phone off and was going to try to turn it back on.  My cell phone reminds me of my car, and my computer.  One day I love them, and the next day I want to throw them in the lake.  Why?  Because I get frustrated with these pieces of technology messing with me.  So I want to mess with them.  And I thought people who treated dogs like humans are bad.  I am treating a cell phone like it is a human, but a human I want to throw in the lake nonetheless.  You may be saying that this is a crazy Christian family idea.  Yes, and I even a bad one.  I agree, and I have many more where that came from.

Theo's Holiday

This is an idea from the Cosby Show, our family's favorite TV show.  You may already know the episode, but if you don't, here is how it goes.  Theo thinks he can make it in the real world, so when he comes home his family has a surprise for him.  Theo is given a certain amount of money (monopoly money) and has to rent his own apartment, buy his own furniture, have his own job, etc, etc.  Basically, he is supposed to do life on his own.  His room is empty.
My family likes this idea for our kids when they turn a certain age.  Although this will be "pretend", we will also take it seriously.  So when the young adult comes home, they will be treated like a young adult.  "So I hear you want to rent an apartment?"  They figure out their job, their spending, their life, etc, etc, for 24 hours.

The two goals for this event "Theo's holiday" are the same as they were in the show.  1.  For fun.  2.  For "Theo" to learn about the REAL WORLD.Theo's Holiday

The 3 Qualifications of a Girlfriend

The Christian family usually starts before kids, and in college both my brother and I came up with 3 qualifications for a girlfriend.  Yes, there were only 3 qualifications, but they are not easily met.  Before I tell you what the 3 qualifications are you need to know that they are in a specific order.  A girl must meet the first qualification before going to the second and so on.  Also, the qualification get harder as you move down the list.  The first qualification is the easiest to meet, while the third qualification is the most difficult and rare to meet.  Here they are, the three qualifications for a girlfriend (I guess they could be qualification for a boyfriend too, but you are free to use or adapt these how you want - that is why I am writing it).
1.  She must be physically attractive to me.
2.  She must love Jesus solely with her whole self (Please do not overlook this as if she is a Christian or not - it is a rare girl who meets this qualification).
3.  She must like me (Many of you who read this will not get this one, I pray that one day you understand it).
My brother and I both now are married to our girlfriends who met these qualifications with flying colors.  A friend of mine in college said that you will be running to Jesus, focused on him, and then someone will pass you, and it will be her.  She passed me, and I have not been able to get my mind off of her since, and she is my wife, and my baby momma.

Sweets Fast

I did not grow up knowing what fasting really was, even though I grew up in church.  Throughout my life, though, fasting has been something that continues to show me 1.  how weak I am.  2. how much I need Jesus.  So how do you pass on fasting to your children, especially young children who are growing?  I personally do not think it is a good idea for children to fast from all food since their bodies are still developing.  One thing we eat a lot in our house, and maybe in your house too, is sweets.  What kind of sweets do we eat?
Top ten sweets eaten in our house.
10. ice cream (samples)
9. pop
8. pudding
7.  ice cream (sandwiches)
6.  candy bars
5. ice cream toppings
4. ice cream (in a cup)
3. chocolate mocha cheesecake (my wife's secret recipe)
2. chocolate chips in the fridge door
1. ice cream (in a bowl)
So every once in a while we have a sweets fast where we do not eat sweets, sugary cereals, pop, etc, etc.  The kids pass the chocolate milk at school and get plain milk, and we deny ourselves ice cream and chocolate chips for a week.  What are the benefits?  We realize how weak we are, and how much we are driven by food and sweets.  We also appreciate the sweets when we break the fast Friday night.  Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Dates with Kids

Each year I have a sort of theme for my year, and this year my theme is being a father.  I have several goals for this year related to being a father.  The next five years, I am realizing, are crucial for my kids.  So I wanted to put in place good habits that would enrich our relationship together.  Something that would make them less afraid of me and less likely to think of me just as a jerk.  So I started Sunday morning dates.  I have four kids, so each Sunday I have a date with one of my kids, and we do something together.  This usually is not a date that costs money.  With my daughter sometimes I play Barbies (although I detest Barbie and all she stands for, I love my daughter), and with all of my kids I often take the dogs on walks together.  The kids all look forward to this time, and it is a real joy for me.  Sometimes I take my kids birding, and sometimes we go to McDonald's and get breakfast burritos (which have gotten smaller and smaller through the years).
I had a friend in college who said that her dad would come home from work every night and spend one hour with her sister and then one hour with her.  She grew up felling extremely loved by her father.  Time is such a valuable resource, isn't it.  Bill Gates may earn more money that me, and I may earn more money than the common person in rural East Africa, but we all are given the same amount of time.

The Graduated Tithe

This idea is not my own, but I found this idea in the book, Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ron Sider.  Let me sum up in my won words what the idea of the graduated tithe could look like.  Look at what the 100% poverty income is for your family according to US standards.  For my family of six it is $30, 970.  For the first $30,970 we would make we would tithe 10%.  For every additional $1,000 we made, for that $1,000 we would tithe another 5% (15%, 20%, 25%, etc.).  So at that rate our tithe would start increasing and after we made $48,970, we would tithe the additional income on top of $48, 970 at 100%.  We don't make that much, but if we did, we would tithe on top of that 100%.  This is not a religious rule presented in the book and definitely not by me, just an idea.  What follows is what the total tithe percentage would be for various income levels.  For an income of around forty grand for a family of six it would mean that you would be giving about 17%.  For an income of around fifty grand a year for a family of six it would mean giving about 30%.  For an income of around sixty grand a year for a family of six it would mean giving about 42%. For an income of around seventy grand a year for a family of six it would mean giving about 50%. For an income of around eighty grand a year for a family of six it would mean giving about 57%.  http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=rich+christians+in+an+age+of+hunger&hl=en&rlz=1C1SKPL_enUS446US446&prmd=imvnsb&resnum=5&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1024&bih=677&ix=sea&ion=1&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=939969414872999962&sa=X&ei=L3RST_H0GYe0gwfNk_mlDw&ved=0CE0Q8gIwAA

Dog Ownership

We currently have two dogs.  We are dog-sitting for one on a long term basis.  One is a Labrador/? and the other is a Doberman.  They are both dogs.  One great thing about dog ownership in a Christian family is that it can teach kids to be responsible for something besides themselves.  It teaches privilege and responsibility.  Dog ownership is also very dangerous, as many children and even adults are attacked by dogs.  I was on a run with my wife biking beside me when two huge German Shepherds literally almost killed me if it hadn't have been for a church bus driving at them to save me.  But dog ownership can help kids understand that it is fun to have a pet, but it is also a job.  If those same kids become parents someday, they may be able to use some of the same skills learned as a dog owner in their parenting.  It is so fun, but it is also a job.  I have been reading Cesar Millan a bit lately and here are the top three things I have taken from him.  1.  You are the leader, the calm assertive leader.  Be who you are.  2.  Take your dogs for long walks every day.  3.  Re-read the first two over and over.  A child who learns to be the leader over a dog (an the dog desperately seeks that leadership) may also learn to be the leader for his or her children (who even more seek that leadership).  A child who learns to exercise the dog may also take their kids for walks, and it is the simple things in life, not the high tech stuff, that our children so desperately need.

S.A.C.R.E.D. Bible Study

When I was in Seminary I took a class called Inductive Bible Study.  We read a book called Methodical Bible Study by Robert Traina.  From that book and that class I have developed my acronym for Bible Study called S.A.C.R.E.D. Bible Study.  All credit goes to Robert Traina and David Bauer.  All blame rests on me.
S.A.C.R.E.D. Bible Study has 6 steps that you follow in order when doing Bible Study.
See it.  Read the text, and then read it again.  Look at everything, look at the words, the structure, the form.
Ask it.  Who? What? When? Where? Why?  Also what are the implications for this?
Call it.  What is the main point here?  What is being said?  Give this passage, this book, a name.  Call it.
Rate it.  Who would this message be to?  A sick person?  A woman?  A man?  All time?  Only then?
Eat it.  I must use this Scripture for my nourishment today.  I must apply it to my life, feed on it.
Digest it.  This Scripture must join with all the other Scriptures I have eaten and make me who I am.
I try to follow these steps when studying the Bible.  Maybe it will help you study the Bible.  Maybe it won't.  If it does, great.  If it doesn't, try what helps you.

http://www.amazon.com/Methodical-Bible-Study-Robert-Traina/dp/0310246024

http://www.amazon.com/Inductive-Bible-Study-Comprehensive-Hermeneutics/dp/0801027675/ref=pd_cp_b_0

Family Budget

This is an idea I have known is a good one for a long time, because my dad told me it was a good idea. . . .over and over again.  His dad told him the same thing.  But here is my problem with some of my Christian family ideas.  I am good, very good, at thinking up ideas, but I am not always good on the follow through.  So I have finally made a budget for our family after 12 years.  There is a problem with the budget, though.  We spend more than we make.  So we wait for the tax check and hope that makes up for the difference until the next tax check.  This is one of those ideas that my wife and I always say is a good idea, but we never seem to do it.  What about you?  Do you have a family budget?
How do you make a family budget?  Here is what I did.  Open up an excel document.  Label one column expenses, and list the expenses according to your bills and how money gets spent, such as:  verizon, gas bill, mortgage, taxes, giving, Y membership, vacation, triathlons, auto/gas, and our biggest expense in our family of 6, food and supply.  List the amounts you spend in each per month.  Then in another column you put your income, all the ways you make money.  If you are like us there are more ways you spend money than there are ways you make money.  See if the expenses column is more or less or the same as the income column.
Also, remember that 10% tithe that my Grandpa told my dad about and my dad told me about does not mean that God gets 10% of my money.  It helps me remember that all money that I have is his.  I must spend every penny in a way that honors my Lord Jesus Christ.

The 16 year rite of passage

The 16 year rite of passage is the third and final rite of passage, and the most important.  This all started when my brother and I and a good friend of ours went hiking the Appalachian Trail before our friend's wedding.  We hiked and hiked and hiked, and talked and fasted for a day, and saw an amazing waterfall, and broke the fast at McDonald's buying every burger on the menu.  It is something that the three of us look back on a lot.  For my brother and I it was our rite of passage.  I wanted my sons to have a similar experience so that's what started me thinking. . . So when he turns 16 my eldest son knows he gets to go on his mountain hike.  He knows that he gets to have some other important men in his life go with him.  He knows that we will fast for one whole day.  He also knows that after this hike he will be a man.  He knows that is the turning point.  Throughout these rites of passage our kids have had more privileges and more responsibilities.  We also want this time to be a time when our sons can be around men and get advice and wisdom from men who have lived as a man for many combined years, and to be prayed for.  During that day of fasting we will all be praying for him.
With my daughter I thought that it would be good to have a similar experience, but with women.  I have not totally thought all this through, but hopefully we will be able to have a weekend or a week where she and the important women in her life can go to where she wants to go (beach, mountains, etc), and spend time in much the same way, praying for her and talking to her about being a woman.  We want her to know that she is a woman, and to see the privileges and responsibilities.  I also have planned to take her on a fancy date to a very fancy restaurant and some kind of symphony or concert.  Hopefully Les Mis will be playing then.
This are some of the ideas regarding our rites of passage.  I have not written all of them.

The 12 year rite of passage

This is the second of three rites of passage that we do in our family.  This rite of passage focuses on the child's relationship with other people.  In a lot of ways this is the rite of passage that I have the fewest ideas about.  I think that we will probably do some kind of family tree thing (I just thought that up while I am typing).  We also had some soapstone carvings made in Kenya, East Africa to give to our kids representing that we are like livingstones (1 Peter).  We will also give them some kind of sentimental thing.  Maybe you have some ideas for us.  Share with me. . .

The 8 year rite of passage

As I said before, the eight year rite of passage focuses on the child's relationship with God.  We try to talk to them leading up to it about their relationship with God.  We also try to model what personal time with God is.  When I was a young Christian the man who discipled me taught me about "God-time" and he gave me my first prayer journal.  Ever since journaling my prayers and spending daily time with God has been the most important part of each day.  This is something that we want to pass on to our children.  I have found one way to do this is by having my time with God with them, doing the things that I do in my time with God with them.  Sometimes we walk and pray, sometimes we read the Bible, sometimes we have communion, and sometimes we journal.  A big part of each rite of passage is the gifts that each child gets.  We make a box which is half the dimensions of the arc of the covenant in Exodus together.  This is the child's box, and it symbolizes that we are the new arc of the covenant, the place where God's presence dwells.  It also is meant to be a place for the child's special things that are theirs.  I have a shoebox that I have had since high school with all of my special things and this spurred on the idea of a special box for them.  I have also run a marathon for each of my children, and as every marathoner knows, the shirt is special.  I give the shirt to them on this day to symbolize that I would literally do anything for them, no matter how hard or crazy.  My wife gives them something special as well, something from her childhood that she passes on to them.  Two of our four kids have went through this rite of passage, and it has been a very meaningful time for all of us.